My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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