Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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