my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
