would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
