i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
