I wanna bring you to show and tell
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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