no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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