I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
