New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
