You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize