a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
