I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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