I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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