I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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