i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
