Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
