that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
