There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I woke up under a house in Key West
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