remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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