Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
