I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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