Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
