As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
