At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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