Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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