can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
