That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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