I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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