Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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