For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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