You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I wish you could order shots online.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You were trust falling into bushes
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
