So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
