Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm sobbing to NWA
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
