Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
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