She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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