At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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