You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize