so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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