I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
