do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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