Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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