my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
the condom got lost in my hair
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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