We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
