I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
