Do you still have your period?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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