I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
