Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
