I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
