i barfeds in our rink
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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