its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize
