i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
