I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Its about making memories worth repressing
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
