the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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