In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
