Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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