I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize