Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
they need to just BURY HIM!
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Your cock deserves a montage
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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