I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
