You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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